October is here. Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas all quickly tumble into the family, creating stress for couples. School has been underway long enough for kids’ schedules, the demands of various activities, and homework challenges to create additional stress. Couples start fighting much more than they did in the summer months. Their lack of ability to collaborate effectively becomes apparent. Perhaps they call a therapist or perhaps they wait even longer.

Too frequently they wait until their problems have become chronic. John Gottman says, "People wait an average of 6 years to get any couples counseling after distress" (Notarius). And now with worldwide intense economic pressures, couples wait even longer.

As a result, you and I are often confronted in early sessions with high-distress couples with chronic problems. And they have deeply hurt one another!

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