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“I'm a professional. I'm an expert.
But I dread when that fighting couple comes in.”

7 out of 10 couples therapists feel this way

Do you feel this way?

Click on the video below to hear how Ellyn Bader’s training program can help you.


Keep reading to learn more.

You know the feeling of apprehension, helplessness and inadequacy when you sit in front of a couple who’s replaying the War of the Roses. Actually, you’re thinking it would be ok if they never came back.

We’ve all been there.

Now imagine this new clinical picture of yourself.

You have learned how to take highly distressed couples and help them become curious and not furious. You've learned why most of their complaints are really not personal and help them acquire the same perspective.

You help them see the pain underlying their self-protective attacks and withdrawals. They listen because you know what you are talking about.

Instead of feeling inadequate, you like earning your pay. You feel confident, self-assured, eager for more opportunities to help them.

Come On the Journey to Better Couples Therapy

"Although I've been a licensed MFT for 12 years and really enjoy working with couples, I have always felt so much anxiety with trying to figure out how to structure sessions. I have just begun to utilize the Initiator-Inquirer 'TM' technique with my couples and have had some amazing results." Elany Mueller, MFT, Pasadena, CA

But you can’t get these advanced skills from workshops, books or occasional consultation with experienced colleagues. And you sure didn’t get the skills from the meager coursework offered in most graduate schools.

I know how embarrassing it is to present yourself as a marriage therapist if your training and skill level is shaky. And it’s intimidating to wait in your office for the arrival of the next troubled couple when you lack confidence.

Now you can fill in the gaps in your couples training. And do it in ways which I believe you will find enjoyable, convenient and comprehensive. I know this is a tall order. But here’s why I believe I can make such a promise.

I have integrated recent findings in neuroscience, attachment theory and differentiation into our Developmental Model of Couples Therapy and created an unprecedented training program that is:

It’s training without travel. It’s called...

“The Developmental Model of Couples Therapy:
Integrating Attachment, Differentiation, and Neuroscience”

“I especially like hearing how to apply the information in session and clarifying misunderstandings about developmental theory. It’s also great reading other therapists’ blog entries and asking for assistance about real couples. Although I usually listen live, I also enjoy downloading to my itouch & listening again when I want to.” Peter Nagel, LMFT, Asheboro, NC

There is a hodgepodge of information out there on attachment theory, differentiation theory, and neuroscience. Nobody has integrated it into a developmental model with practical applications. Until now.

This one year training program is the culmination of all my experience, especially shaped and organized to improve your experience!

You will learn what to do, how to do it and why to do it.

Over the next 12 months we will cover all these topics...

Read course objectives before enrolling.

Each lesson is strategically designed so you keep building your skills and confidence.

Every fifteen days you will get a detailed lesson combining theory with practical applications. This gives you time to ABSORB and PRACTICE the lesson before moving on to the next one. By staying in touch every month, I will be your personal guide as you acquire new skills and confidence. I don’t want you to feel lost or confused.

Every month we will talk on the phone. You may have questions as you learn and apply new theory and interventions. These calls will focus on clinical cases and will ENHANCE your perspective on challenging situations. You can ask your questions either on these monthly conference calls or email me before the calls through my secure website.

Because the live calls are recorded, you can listen to them AT YOUR CONVENIENCE.

After the challenging cases we study together, your work with other couples will be well-targeted and focused. Sessions with individual clients will improve as you become familiar with thinking about relational problems from a developmental perspective.

My Easy No-Hassle Guarantee

You have two months to try this training program and see how great it is. I want you to be satisfied that you have:

If after 2 months the program does not meet your expectations to improve your skill level or support your desire to be a better couples therapist, you can get a courteous refund. Just call my office at 650-327-5915 or toll free at 877-327-5915 within the first two months and tell my staff that you’d like to withdraw from the course and get a refund of EVERYTHING you have paid. No ifs ands or buts.

I have just finished the first two lessons and they have given me hope and a feeling of empowerment. For the first time, I believe I will be able to work effectively with couples, without the feeling that I am sinking! Thank you!" Shauna Roberts, MFT Intern, Roseville, CA

Why can I make such a guarantee? The information in this training has been tested, refined and tested again in the arena where it counts most: the offices of therapists throughout the United States and on four other continents.

The feedback is universally enthusiastic from therapists just like you. These positive evaluations – not a false sense of bravado – allow me to make such an unprecedented offer.

Who am I to Make Such an Offer?

My name is Ellyn Bader. I’m a psychologist and I have specialized in couples therapy for over 25 years. My husband, Dr. Peter Pearson, and I founded The Couples Institute in Menlo Park, California in 1984. We're constantly evolving our practice both in how we train therapists, and how we work with couples.

We created The Developmental Model of Couples Therapy, a model that teaches therapists how to diagnose, intervene and significantly change troubled relationships.

The Developmental Model was first introduced in 1988 in our book, “In Quest of the Mythical Mate,” which is still used in graduate schools across the country and is now in its 15th printing. The book was awarded the Clark Vincent Award by the California Association of Marriage & Family Therapists for its outstanding contribution to the field of marital therapy.

Our most recent book “Tell Me No Lies: How to Face the Truth and Build a Loving Marriage” guides couples to be honest with compassion.

I have been fortunate enough to appear on The Today Show, CBS Morning Show, and be interviewed by over 50 national and local media.

“Your training is so well-developed, so practical, so informative. It has already made me a better therapist. I appreciate all the work you and the staff have put into it. Worth every penny, and every minute.” Marymargaret Parker, MFT, Valencia, CA

Pete and I have trained thousands of therapists throughout the United States as well as Europe, Asia, South America, Australia and I am a frequently invited speaker at major professional conferences. I am on a mission to STOP PREMATURE AND UNNECESSARY DIVORCES.

The best way to do that is to train and support more excellent couples therapists.

“If you want to excel in your work, I’d like to work with you.”

This comprehensive program includes 24 lessons including a few from other experts in couples therapy.

Here’s a review of what you will get:



You will grow personally as well as professionally

Learn PERSONAL as well as PROFESSIONAL SKILLS. Would you like to develop comfortable confrontation skills? How about constructively using your counter-transference? You can say almost anything to couples if you have the right voice tone and facial expression. This will be a side benefit of your training.

“It’s amazing how many times in this class I’ve taken something away and then gone back to work and used it that very week with something very specific that’s come up. Not always with as much finesse as I would like, but far better than I could before.” Susan Childers, Seattle, WA

What does it cost?

You might expect this kind of training to be exorbitantly expensive. But it’s just $127 each month for twelve months (or pay 10% LESS when you pay for the full year of training upfront). That’s for your monthly conference call, unlimited access to the members’ website where you can download, listen, read and review lessons. Plus there’s the blog where you can interact with me and your colleagues. Considering my hourly consultation rate of $250 – without all the bonuses – this is an AMAZING VALUE.

When you decide to join me, click any yellow registration button above or below to submit your $127. That will reserve your space and cover your first month’s fee. Then you’ll be billed again every 30 days for 11 more months.

And my EASY NO-HASSLE GUARANTEE makes it easy for you to sign up now. If the course does not meet your expectations we will refund your money any time within your first two months.

How do I sign up for the course?

“I find that this course is easy to integrate into my practice. It is spread over a number of months, so I have time to think and plan for different clients. The encouragement from Ellyn to integrate, and reading others’ experiences with their experiments is motivating. But the truly best thing is that it makes sense and I want to use it.” Keena Hudson, Sydney, Australia
Click here to register for the course, but soon, as space is limited to allow for necessary personal attention.

Some other questions you may have about this program...

1. Will this approach be compatible with how I work?

YES! The integration of attachment theory, differentiation theory and neuroscience has proven to be compatible with audiences I have trained throughout the United States, Europe, Asia, Australia and South America. This training receives consistent, enthusiastic feedback that it enhances rather than collides with various other approaches. You will not need to learn a whole new approach.

2. I don’t have a lot of experience with couples - will this training be too advanced?

Likely not. When I give presentations at different state and national conferences, the audiences typically include novices through seasoned therapists. What they all appreciate is the understandable ways these orientations are integrated and can be immediately applied to their own practice.

3. I have quite a bit of experience with couples. Will this just be a repeat of what I already know?

Not unless you have done extensive training with me in the Developmental Model already. The consistent feedback I get, even from therapists who have been in long-term practice, is how valuable these concepts are.

4. I’m not technically savvy. How difficult is the computer part of the program?

Most therapists – myself included – feel some anxiety about using technology. I’ve worked hard to be sure that our materials are VERY USER-FRIENDLY. And our office staff is patient with beginners. When I led a group like this before, participants found their technical growth very satisfying. So don’t let it scare you; jump right in.

5. How can I get my individual questions addressed?

I encourage you to ask questions during the calls, on the blogs and especially on our special Q and A calls.

6. What makes this different from taking a conventional online CE course?

With online courses there is no interaction with the instructor. You can’t ask questions about a specific case. You can’t get elaborations on especially relevant interventions. There is no way to ask, “Now what?”

Participants from our courses also observe that the support from peers on the blog is a huge unexpected benefit.

7. What makes this different from going to a workshop at a conference?

I used the neuroscience information immediately with one couple and it helped develop more empathy and compassion in the room than is their custom. It really turned things around. Thank you.” Roberta Seifert, Ph.D., San Rafael, CA and in training

At a workshop you may or may not get your specific questions answered. You can’t keep asking deeper and deeper questions of the presenter as they have too much material to cover. You cannot call the instructor after the workshop and say, “Wow, what you taught was really great, now how can I apply the interventions to my particular case?”

A workshop is not designed to be comprehensive. It is just a snapshot of one aspect of couples therapy and then you’re on your own.

8. Why does this training extend over a year?

You need time to implement, experiment, and learn how to Apply the interventions with confidence. As I mentioned before, skillful couples therapy is not mastered in the occasional workshop or reading good books and articles. This prolonged format gives you the big picture and then time to apply specific strategies to specific situations.

As your confidence grows, the feedback you need will also change. A longer training program allows you to get support through your evolution. But you really only need 3-4 hours of time each month to read and digest the material and calls.

The truth is you need two things to be successful – not just with couples, but in almost any area of your life. The first is knowledge of how to achieve the success. The second is the dedication to acquire and apply that knowledge. If you supply the dedication, I will give you the knowledge.

9. What about CE Units?

Most healthcare professionals can earn 36 hours of Continuing Education credit by completing this course. Please read accreditation and disclosure information before registering.

10. What if several of us at an agency want to take the training?

Agency discounts are available for 3 or more people. Please call 1-877-327-5915 or contact us for more information.


The Developmental Model Training
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Make a bigger difference

The stakes are high. You know the vast importance of what you and I offer distressed couples. In your practice you see couples and maybe whole families suffering from generational pain. I chose this career because I want to make a difference.

I want to give you the tools to help more couples move through their difficulties and evolve individually at the same time. When couples prematurely drop out of therapy the loss reverberates through couples, families, and communities. You’re affected, too.

For one thing there’s the lost opportunity for the couples who become disillusioned with our profession and never return, in spite of their pain. Their families suffer. Their children pass it on into future generations. And you feel the loss in your self esteem – not to mention your pocketbook.

You can make a bigger difference. Sign up now and stop the frustration of working with unhappy couples or those who are unhappy with therapy.

I am passionate about stopping unnecessary divorces and helping committed couples grow into rich, rewarding partnerships. I’d love to increase your satisfaction working with them, too.

We are all here to assist our clients to improve their lives.

I would be proud to join with you in helping others.


Ellyn Bader

P.S. Remember, this is a no-lose proposition. You're covered by my special money-back GUARANTEE. I want you to:

Feel calm & poised, when working with challenging couples;

Have the confidence to work with your toughest cases;

Help couples you have wanted to refer out;

See improvements with your individual clients as well.

This program will shave years off your learning curve because I’ve done the work for you.

Let’s get started.